Your Rocket Fuel for Change.
NOTE: This website is a doorway to StartOver.xyz the massively-multiplayer online-and-offline personal-transformation game. It is an invitation to experiments to try that upgrade your thoughtware so you can create more possibility. Your thoughtware is what you use to think with. When you change your thoughtware, you go through a liquid state as your mind reorganizes itself. Liquid states can bring up uncomfortable feelings and emotions. By upgrading your thoughtware you build matrix to hold more consciousness. No one can do this for you. No one can stop you from doing it. Our theory is that when we collectively build one million more Matrix Points we will change the morphogenetic field of the human race for the better. Please choose responsibly to read this website. Reading this whole website is worth 1 Matrix Point. Doing any of the experiments below earns you additional Matrix Points. Please use Matrix Code 4FEELING.00 to log your Point for reading this website.
Isn't it crazy?
Did you know that we have feelings all the time about everything, often at low percentage, sometimes at higher percentage? If we have feelings all the time, isn't it crazy that after we have been through at least 14 years of education, we never had one class about feelings? You will say that in a feelings-phobic culture it is maybe not so crazy. However, whether the culture accepts feelings or not, they are there, all the time, about everything. And this is not an exaggeration.
Do we have to talk about feelings?
We talk about feelings not because we think it is cool or because we think everybody should be free to scream or yell at any time of the day or night. We talk about feelings for a very practical reason: they are your rocket fuel for your destiny. They are one of your resources, one that you have probably not been using. You want to know how to create change? Gear-up and get your resources ready for use. Feelings are your fuel for doing, choosing and asking something different next time.
Map of Four Feelings
created by Valerie Lankford.
A feeling conversation does not have to be twisted or confusing! It can also be clear and simple. Yes, what if all human beings had only four feelings? Four primary feelings: anger, sadness, joy and fear, from which any other feelings or emotions are made out of. The four primary feelings are like the four primary colors from which all other colors can be made out of.
There are only four feelings. That's it. This is often great news, especially for men! Phew!
Take a look and enjoy! (Y021: 1 matrix point)
Susan David explains the value of upgrading your thoughtware about feelings
I've had hundreds of people tell me what they don't want to feel. They tell me "I don't want to try because I don't want to feel disappoint" or "I want this feeling to go away".
"I understand" I say " and you have a dead people's goals..."
Old and new map of feelings
We human beings interact with the world through maps - thoughtmaps. Thoughtware is what we think with. We can investigate what kind of map we use to navigate our life.
Old Map of Feelings
Why even talking about feelings - let along experiencing and expressing them - is so uncomfortable? Well, the culture that most of us has been born and bread in (Modern culture) has hammered into us that there are three BAD feelings which are anger, sadness and fear, and one GOOD feeling: joy, of course. :)
So whenever we feel one of the BAD feelings, we think something is wrong with us. Don't we?
When we feel angry, we believe (or others think of us) that we are aggressive, out of control, dangerous, loud, crazy, hysterical, we create conflict, we destroy everything, ... If we feel sad, we believe we are weak, or we look bad and are not attractive, that it will be painful and heavy, and we are broken and a burden, ... When we feel fear, we think again that we are weak, so we cannot be professional or strong, we are paralyzed, and fear is anyway not rational, out of control, unattractive, outrageous, ...
What about joy? Can we even feel really happy? If we walk down the street feeling 80% happen, they might think that we are crazy, on drugs, childish, stupid, too girly, bubbly, superior, heartless, or maybe that we want attention... It seems that we are not even allowed to feel joy...
It seems like our culture teaches us that IT IS NOT OKAY TO FEEL. That it is a design error from God and that when we might feel something then we conclude rapidly that we should stop feeling straight away.
This is a huge handicap for actually living life....
Map of Maps
Change your thoughtmap, change your possibilities.
This is an experiment (4FEELING.01 - 1 matrix point). The experiment cannot be true or false. However, an experiment can be useful or not. The question then becomes: Is this experiment useful for you?
The experiment is to do exactly what Galileo did when he proposed the new map of the world: to shift the map of the world from a flat map to a round one.
The experiment is to create a new map for the same territory: the territory of feelings. We started with the Old map that told us that feelings are bad and are not okay to feel. Now let's see if we can create a New map that would give us more possibilities, freedom, awareness, diversity and knowledge. Let's assume that feelings are neutral information and energy and are neither good not bad.
This is changing our thought-map, the maps with which we think with.
New Map of Feeling
Let's try this. The New Map of Feeling starts with the assumption are NOT good or bad (!), but NEUTRAL source of information and energy.
The idea is when you know what you feel, you know in which direction you are steering in your LIFE. Each feeling has its own unique information and energy that is your own rocket fuel to fulfill your Destiny. Pretty cool huh?
So, what can you create with those feelings?
With anger you can start, stop and change things, you can say no/yes, say stop, say what you want and what you don't want, make boundaries and distinctions, make decision and hold commitment, etc (and a lot lot more!)
With sadness, you can be with, be empathic, clean out, grieve, let go of things or people, be vulnerable, be loved and love, accept, appreciate, connect, and bond.
With fear, you can look out, be attentive, be careful, make safe choices, try new things, be awake, be present, ask dangerous questions, ... (check out this)
With joy, you can inspire, be inspired, motivate, lead, research and discover, leap over obstacles, bring people together, have energy, give energy, ...
These are your resources to fulfill your Destiny and be who you are! Just that.
Mr. Ramesh explains Fear (4FEELING.02 : 1 matrix point)
The creative force of fear.
Some essential Distinctions
There are a few essential distinctions you need when starting to explore the territory of feelings. Otherwise, it won't make sense.
The level of your numbness bar establishes your threshold of awareness to your feelings. Any feeling that is less intense than the level of your numbness bar may not be experienced at all. The combination of idealizing a pain-free hero cut off from his or her feelings and a pain-free modern life cut off from chores pushes our collective numbness bar to its highest point in the two hundred thousand–year history of Homo sapiens.
You can only use your feelings if you can feel them!! To feel your feeling, you will have to lower your Numbness Bar.
Feelings and Emotions
There is a distinction between feelings and emotions. Without this distinction, any feelings initiation will be confusing and mostly ineffective. Emotions are not feelings and feelings are not emotions, even if they feel the same in our bodies.
You can know that it is an emotion when it last more than 3 minutes in your system. Have you ever been angry for an hour, an entire day, or even a week after a conversation with someone? That was an emotion.
Emotion are useful for healing things.
Feelings arise in the present and provide information and energy to use immediately. After using the feelings consciously, they disappear completely.
A feeling lasts between 3 to 5 min maximum.
Feelings are useful for handling things.
Conscious and Unconscious Feelings
10 Distinctions for Conscious Feelings
Map of Phase 1 and phase 2 of feelings work
Every new skill has a Phase 1 & Phase 2. Feelings work is no exception! Phase 1 of Feelings work is to learn how to feel, Phase 2 is to learn how to use our feelings consciously. You cannot do Phase 2 before doing Phase 1. Start with Phase 1.
Map of Phase 1 and Phase 2 of feelings work.
Feelings work is about growing up and becoming responsible.
We work with our feelings not as an end but as an mean to an end.
We work with feeling so the dreams, vision and projects inside of us can break through and blossom.
The feeling are inexhaustible energy and destroy all blocks so that we can be our Destiny in action.
Phase 1 of Feelings work
Phase 1 of feelings work is to learn how to feel.
Phase 1 : Experiments and Practices
Check-ins and sharing with
I feel (mad, glad, sad, scared) because... Experiment 4FEELING.03
During your weekly possibility team, at work with your colleagues, or with your friends or family, introduce and use the sentence "I feel (mad, glad, scared, sad) because...". Doing so, lowers the numbness bar and therefore raises the level of vulnerability and connectedness in the community.
- You can do so with proposing an experiment for people to check-in or share 'how they are' using the 4 feelings. You would be surprise how people are willing to play!
- Introduce % of feeling. Eg: "I feel 6% scared that my glass of water is going to fall on my computer".
3 minutes, 3 times a week, for 3 months. Experiment 4FEELING.05
The first feeling we turn on is often the anger, so we can use it to create our safe personal space to feel the other feeling. Especially for woman, we have huge blocks to feel consciously angry.
This experiment is to be consciously angry for 3 minutes, 3 times a week, for 3 months. This is how long it takes to change your nervous system.
If you need more information, please contact a Possibility Management Trainer.
4 objects = 4 feelings
Morning practice. Experiment 4FEELING.06
Doctor's orders: Each morning during breakfast or else for 2 months. Place 4 objects in front of you (cup of coffee, car keys, knife, sugar, post-it, your possibility stone, your watch, a ring, ...). Each is one of the 4 feelings.
Look at the first object and say either out loud or to yourself: "Hello anger. What do you have for me today?" and listen. Your anger will provide you with information that you need for the day.
Look at the second object and say either out loud or to yourself: "Hello sadness. What do you have for me today?" and listen. Your anger will provide you with information that you need for the day.
Look at the third object and say either out loud or to yourself: "Hello fear. What do you have for me today?" and listen. Your anger will provide you with information that you need for the day.
Look at the fourth object and say either out loud or to yourself: "Hello joy. What do you have for me today?" and listen. Your anger will provide you with information that you need for the day.
Repeat every morning and as often as possible.
Take Radical Responsibility for your 4 feelings
Here is an eye-opening experiment about feelings from the domain of Radical Responsibility.
Read and think along with this conversation between a trainer and a participant.
Trainer: “What do you think about this pencil?”
Participant: “I think the pencil is yellow, has bite marks, and needs to be sharpened.”
Trainer: “Thank you. What do you feel about this pencil?”
Participant: “I feel like I would rather use my pen instead of that pencil.”
Trainer: “That is a thought, not a feeling. I am asking what you feel about the pencil, not what you would prefer to do or not do with the pencil. There are four feelings: anger, sadness, joy and fear. In your statement there is a hidden feeling. Find your feeling and try again. What do you feel about this pencil?”
Participant: “I feel angry about this pencil because they made me use a pencil like that in English class and I hated my English teacher for not explaining things so I could understand them.”
Trainer: “Thank you. Could you feel scared about this pencil?”
Participant: “Yes. I could feel scared about this pencil because I have a black scar in my finger where I once fell on a pencil like that and it jabbed me. That pencil could hurt me.”
Trainer: “Thank you. Could you feel glad about this pencil?”
Participant: “Yes. I could feel glad about this pencil because I love the way pencil wood smells. It is cedar like they used to make the wooden arrows that I practiced with during summer camp where I had so much fun.”
Trainer: “Thank you. Could you feel sad about this pencil?”
Participant: “Yes. I could feel sad about this pencil because I wrote my first love letter with a pencil like this to a girl who already had a boyfriend and she decided to stay with him and not come to me. After that I did not try to have another girlfriend for ten years.”
Trainer: “Thank you. So let me review what we just did. I asked you what you thought about this pencil and you told me what you thought. Then I asked you what you felt about this pencil and you said that you felt angry. Then I asked you if you could feel scared about the pencil and you said yes. Could you really feel it? Was it a real feeling?”
Participant: “Yes. I could really feel the fear.”
Trainer: “Then I asked you if you could feel glad about the pencil and you said yes, and sad and you said yes.”
Participant: “Yes, and I could really feel those feelings too.”
Trainer: “So let me get this straight. I showed you an object. I selected a pencil to use for this experiment, but it could have been any object. You said that you could feel mad, sad, glad or scared about this object. Could you feel all four feelings about any object?”
Participant: “I guess so. I never thought about it before. Yes, I probably could.”
Trainer: “Where do your feelings come from?”
Participant: “I create the experience of my feelings myself according to the story I tell myself about the object. Each different story creates a different feeling. To change my feeling all I need to do is change my story about the object. This is astonishing!”
Trainer: “As we began this experiment with the pencil you said that you felt angry about the pencil. Now we see that you could have felt angry, sad, glad or scared about the pencil. But you arranged to feel angry first. If we had stopped the experiment at that point you would have concluded that you actually felt angry about the pencil. But we kept going and you felt all four feelings. Of the four feelings, why did you choose to feel angry first?”
Participant: “The anger is my first defense. People say I get angry easiest. If I am angry about something then I do not have to take responsibility for it. It is someone else’s fault. I get to persecute everybody else. It is very safe and normal for me to feel angry first.”
Radical Responsibility with regards to feelings starts when you declare, “I create my feelings. I do not feel a feeling because of any external experience or circumstance. I feel a feeling because I unconsciously create a story that allows me to feel this feeling to best serve my Box’s survival strategies.”
Phase 2 of Feelings work
Phase 2 of feelings work is to learn how to consciously use your feelings.
Experiments and Practices: Phase 2 of Feelings work