FOUR Feelings

    Your Rocket Fuel for Change.












  • Isn't it crazy?

    Did you know that we have feelings all the time about everything, often at low percentage, sometimes at higher percentage? If we have feelings all the time, isn't it crazy that after we have been through at least 14 years of education, we never had one class about feelings? You will say that in a feelings-phobic culture it is maybe not so crazy. However, whether the culture accepts feelings or not, they are there, all the time, about everything. And this is not an exaggeration.

    Do we have to talk about feelings?

    We want to talk about feelings not because we think it is cool or because we think everybody should be free to yell at any time of the day. We want to talk about feelings for a very practical reason: they are your rocket fuel for your destiny. They are one of your resources, one that you have probably not been using. You want to know how to create change? Gear-up and get your resources ready for use. Feelings are your fuel for doing, choosing and asking something different next time.

  • Map of Four Feelings


    The Map of Four Feelings was created by Valerie Lankford.


    The Map of Four Feelings proposes that all human feelings can be created out of four primary feelings: anger, sadness, joy and fear. This thoughtmap brings a profound intellectual clarity to the domain of feelings, which is often regarded as confusing.

    There are only four feelings. That's it. This is often great news, especially for men!

    Other people work with five or six feelings (for example, disgust or shame). Our research has led us to treat disgust and shame as mixed feelings. They are sadness, fear and anger mixed together, each with different percentages: disgust with more fear mixed in, shame with more sadness mixed in.


  • "Negative" feelings?

    Take a look and enjoy! (Y021: 1 matrix point)

    Susan David explains the value of upgrading your thoughtware about feelings

  • Old and new map of feelings

    Old Map of Feelings

    Assumption: It is not okay to feel. Feelings are bad.

    There are 3 bad feelings, 1 good feeling.

    Modern culture teaches us that there are three "bad", "dangerous", "negative" feelings: anger, sadness and fear, and one "good", "positive" feeling that we should be aiming at : joy.

    Whenever we feel one of the 3 bad feelings, we think something is wrong with us.

    When we feel angry, we think we will be aggressive, out of control, dangerous, loud, crazy, hysterical, we create conflict, ...

    When we feel sad, we think we will be weak, look bad and not be attractive, that it will be painful and heavy, and that we will suck the mood down, ...

    When we feel fear, we think we will be weak, or we will run away, be paralyzed, not rational, out of control, unattractive, outrageous, ...


    And are we even allowed to feel joy?

    When we feel joy, we might actually be seen as crazy, on drugs, childish, stupid, girly, bubbly, superior, heartless, we want attention... It seems that we are not even allowed to feel joy.


    Overall, our culture teaches us that it is not okay to feel. And when we feel, we conclude rapidly that we should stop feeling.

    Map of Maps

    Change your thoughtmap, change your possibilities.

    This is an experiment (W002 - 1 matrix point). The experiment cannot be true or false. However, an experiment can be useful or not. The question then becomes: Is this experiment useful for you?


    The experiment is to do exactly what Galileo did when he proposed the new map of the world: to shift the map of the world from a flat map to a round one.


    The experiment is to create a new map for the same territory: the territory of feelings. We started with the Old map that told us that feelings are bad and are not okay to feel. Now let's see if we can create a New map that would give us more possibilities, freedom, awareness, diversity and knowledge. Let's assume that feelings are neutral information and energy and are neither good not bad.


    This is changing your thought-map, the maps with which you think with.

    New Map of Feeling

    Assumption: Feelings are neutral information and energy, like the 4 directions of a compass.

    When you know what you feel, you know in which direction you are steering. Each feeling has its own unique information and energy that is your own rocket fuel to fulfill your Destiny. Pretty cool huh?


    What can you create with those feelings?

    With anger you can start, stop and change things, you can say no/yes, say stop, say what you want and what you don't want, make boundaries and distinctions, make decision and hold commitment, etc (and a lot lot more!)

    With sadness, you can be with, be empathic, clean out, grieve, let go of things or people, be vulnerable, be loved and love, accept, appreciate, connect, and bond.

    With fear, you can look out, be attentive, be careful, make safe choices, try new things, be awake, be present, ask dangerous questions, ...

    With joy, you can inspire, be inspired, motivate, lead, research and discover, leap over obstacles, bring people together, have energy, give energy, ...


    These are your resources to fulfill your Destiny and be who you are.

  • An Example: The Fear

    Mr. Ramesh explains Fear (Y021: 1 matrix point)


    Map of Feelings and Emotions

    There is a distinction between feelings and emotions.

    Without this distinction, any feelings work will stay confusing and mostly ineffective. Emotions are not feelings and feelings are not emotions, even if they feel the same in our bodies.


    Emotions are incomplete feelings from the past, or from someone else or from your Gremlin (see gremlin.strikingly.com) that feel like they come from the present because they are still locked in your body unexpressed.

    You can know that it is an emotion when it last more than 3 minutes in your system. Have you ever been angry for an entire day after a conversation with someone? That was an emotion.

    Emotion are useful for healing things.


    Feelings arise in the present and provide information and energy to use immediately. After using the feelings consciously, they disappear completely.

    A feeling lasts between 3 to 5 min maximum.

    Feelings are useful for handling things.



    3 Kinds of Emotions.

    There are 3 kinds of emotions.

    1. Emotions that come from the past are incomplete feelings from your childhood.

    One healing process: complete incomplete emotions (see below).

    2. Emotions that come from somebody else, mostly from an authority figures like your parents, teachers, the government, the Church, also brands, ...

    One healing process: shoot the voices in your head until they do not come back (see 13 tools of a Possibility Manager).

    3. Emotions that come from your Gremlin. Those emotions serve your shadow principles. See gremlin.strikingly.com for more information.

  • Map of Phase 1 and phase 2 of feelings work

    Every new skill has a Phase 1 & Phase 2. Feelings work is no exception! Phase 1 of Feelings work is to learn how to feel, Phase 2 is to learn how to use our feelings consciously. You cannot do Phase 2 before doing Phase 1. Start with Phase 1.

    Map of Phase 1 and Phase 2 of feelings work.

    Feelings work is about growing up and becoming responsible. We work with our feelings not as an end but as an mean to an end. We work with feeling so the dreams, vision and projects inside of us can break through and blossom. The feeling are inexhaustible energy and destroy all blocks so that we can be our destiny in action.

  • Phase 1 of Feelings work

    Phase 1 of feelings work is to learn how to feel.


    Choose the New Map of Feeling

    By choosing the New Map of Feeling you are changing what you think with, and that changes who you are and what is possible.

    The integration happens in your 5 bodies.

    See 5bodies.strikingly.com for more information.


    Use clear sentence for adult communication

    Learn this clear, adult sentence of feelings communication by heart and use it abundantly:

    "I feel (angry, sad, fear, joy) because..."


    Feel your feelings

    It is one thing to talk about feeling, something completely different to feel your feelings. Feeling do not appear in your mind (talking), they come from your heart (feeling).

    Whenever a feelings come. Let it be there, let it grow even as big as it can get.


    Separate mix feelings

    As a survival strategy we often mix our feelings, to have less clarity and be less dangerous. Separating mix feeling is taking back the clarity and power of each pure feeling.

    See unmixemotions.strikingly.com for more information


    Inner navigate your feelings

    Inner navigation is a skill to practice. Inner navigation gives you a inner guide for who you are and what you want. Inner navigating feeling is been able to say which feeling you are feeling and what percentage.


    Stellate your feelings

    Human beings are design to experience 100% big anger, sadness, fear and joy. Consciously and purposefully stellating our 4 feelings, turn on our archetypes (see archetypes.strikingly.com). This is a initiatory process, you do this in training spaces.

  • Experiments and Practices: Phase 1 of Feelings work

    Check-ins and sharing with

    I feel mad, glad, sad, scared because...

    During your weekly possibility team, at work with your colleagues, or with your friends or family, introduce and use the sentence "I feel (mad, glad, scared, sad) because...". Doing so, raises the level of vulnerability and connectedness in the community.

    - You can do so with proposing an experiment for people to check-in or share 'how they are' using the 4 feelings. You would be surprise how people are willing to play!

    - Introduce % of feeling. Eg: "I feel 6% scared that my glass of water is going to fall on my computer".



    3 minutes, 3 times a week, for 3 months

    The first feeling we turn on is often the anger, so we can use it to create our safe personal space to feel the other feeling. Especially for woman, we have huge blocks to feel consciously angry. One practice is to be consciously angry for 3 minutes, 3 times a week, for 3 months. This is how long it takes to change our nervous system.

    If you need more information, please contact us at startover@gmail.com.

    Use you Voice Blaster

  • Phase 2 of Feelings work

    Phase 2 of feelings work is to learn how to consciously use your feelings.


    Use your feelings to serve your Destiny

    Learn how to use your feelings to create High Drama (see mapofpossibility.strikingly.com), serve your Bright Principles and Archetypal Lineage.