FOUR Feelings

    Your Rocket Fuel for Change.




    NOTE: This website is a doorway to StartOver.xyz the massively-multiplayer online-and-offline personal-transformation game. It is an invitation to experiments to try that upgrade your thoughtware so you can create more possibility. Your thoughtware is what you use to think with. When you change your thoughtware, you go through a liquid state as your mind reorganizes itself. Liquid states can bring up uncomfortable feelings and emotions. By upgrading your thoughtware you build matrix to hold more consciousness. No one can do this for you. No one can stop you from doing it. Our theory is that when we collectively build one million more Matrix Points we will change the morphogenetic field of the human race for the better. Please choose responsibly to read this website. Reading this whole website is worth 1 Matrix Point. Doing any of the experiments below earns you additional Matrix Points. Please use Matrix Code 4FEELING.00 to log your Point for reading this website.

  • Isn't it crazy?

    Did you know that we have feelings all the time about everything, often at low percentage, sometimes at higher percentage? If we have feelings all the time, isn't it crazy that after we have been through at least 14 years of education, we never had one class about feelings? You will say that in a feelings-phobic culture it is maybe not so crazy. However, whether the culture accepts feelings or not, they are there, all the time, about everything. And this is not an exaggeration.

    Do we have to talk about feelings?

    We want to talk about feelings not because we think it is cool or because we think everybody should be free to yell at any time of the day. We want to talk about feelings for a very practical reason: they are your rocket fuel for your destiny. They are one of your resources, one that you have probably not been using. You want to know how to create change? Gear-up and get your resources ready for use. Feelings are your fuel for doing, choosing and asking something different next time.

  • Map of Four Feelings


    The Map of Four Feelings was created by Valerie Lankford.


    The Map of Four Feelings proposes that all human feelings can be created out of four primary feelings: anger, sadness, joy and fear. This thoughtmap brings a profound intellectual clarity to the domain of feelings, which is often regarded as confusing.

    There are only four feelings. That's it. This is often great news, especially for men!

    Other people work with five or six feelings (for example, disgust or shame). Our research has led us to treat disgust and shame as mixed feelings. They are sadness, fear and anger mixed together, each with different percentages: disgust with more fear mixed in, shame with more sadness mixed in.


  • "Negative" feelings?

    Take a look and enjoy! (Y021: 1 matrix point)

    Susan David explains the value of upgrading your thoughtware about feelings

    I've had hundreds of people tell me what they don't want to feel. They tell me "I don't want to try because I don't want to feel disappoint" or "I want this feel to go away". "I understand" I say " and you have a dead people's goals..."

  • Old and new map of feelings

    Old Map of Feelings

    Assumption: It is not okay to feel. Feelings are bad.

    There are 3 bad feelings, 1 good feeling.

    Modern culture teaches us that there are three "bad", "dangerous", "negative" feelings: anger, sadness and fear, and one "good", "positive" feeling that we should be aiming at : joy.

    Whenever we feel one of the 3 bad feelings, we think something is wrong with us.

    When we feel angry, we think we will be aggressive, out of control, dangerous, loud, crazy, hysterical, we create conflict, ...

    When we feel sad, we think we will be weak, look bad and not be attractive, that it will be painful and heavy, and that we will suck the mood down, ...

    When we feel fear, we think we will be weak, or we will run away, be paralyzed, not rational, out of control, unattractive, outrageous, ...


    And are we even allowed to feel joy?

    When we feel joy, we might actually be seen as crazy, on drugs, childish, stupid, girly, bubbly, superior, heartless, we want attention... It seems that we are not even allowed to feel joy.


    Overall, our culture teaches us that IT IS NOT OKAY TO FEEL. And when we feel, we conclude rapidly that we should stop feeling. This is a huge handicap for actually living life.

    Map of Maps

    Change your thoughtmap, change your possibilities.

    This is an experiment (W002 - 1 matrix point). The experiment cannot be true or false. However, an experiment can be useful or not. The question then becomes: Is this experiment useful for you?


    The experiment is to do exactly what Galileo did when he proposed the new map of the world: to shift the map of the world from a flat map to a round one.


    The experiment is to create a new map for the same territory: the territory of feelings. We started with the Old map that told us that feelings are bad and are not okay to feel. Now let's see if we can create a New map that would give us more possibilities, freedom, awareness, diversity and knowledge. Let's assume that feelings are neutral information and energy and are neither good not bad.


    This is changing your thought-map, the maps with which you think with.

    New Map of Feeling

    Assumption: Feelings are neutral information and energy, like the 4 directions of a compass.

    When you know what you feel, you know in which direction you are steering. Each feeling has its own unique information and energy that is your own rocket fuel to fulfill your Destiny. Pretty cool huh?


    What can you create with those feelings?

    With anger you can start, stop and change things, you can say no/yes, say stop, say what you want and what you don't want, make boundaries and distinctions, make decision and hold commitment, etc (and a lot lot more!)

    With sadness, you can be with, be empathic, clean out, grieve, let go of things or people, be vulnerable, be loved and love, accept, appreciate, connect, and bond.

    With fear, you can look out, be attentive, be careful, make safe choices, try new things, be awake, be present, ask dangerous questions, ...

    With joy, you can inspire, be inspired, motivate, lead, research and discover, leap over obstacles, bring people together, have energy, give energy, ...


    These are your resources to fulfill your Destiny and be who you are.

  • An Example: The Fear

    Mr. Ramesh explains Fear (Y021: 1 matrix point)

    The creative force of fear.

    What can fear inform you about?

    - The hidden assumptions in the space. For example, what people assume is impossible to achieve or even try, what people assume is always been like this and will always be like this.

    - Where the dark places are.

  • Some essential Distinctions

    The Numbness Bar and Feelings vs. Emotions

    Map of Numbness Bar

    Map of Feelings and Emotions

    There is a distinction between feelings and emotions.

    Without this distinction, any feelings work will stay confusing and mostly ineffective. Emotions are not feelings and feelings are not emotions, even if they feel the same in our bodies.


    Emotions are incomplete feelings from the past, or from someone else or from your Gremlin (see gremlin.strikingly.com) that feel like they come from the present because they are still locked in your body unexpressed.

    You can know that it is an emotion when it last more than 3 minutes in your system. Have you ever been angry for an entire day after a conversation with someone? That was an emotion.

    Emotion are useful for healing things.


    Feelings arise in the present and provide information and energy to use immediately. After using the feelings consciously, they disappear completely.

    A feeling lasts between 3 to 5 min maximum.

    Feelings are useful for handling things.

  • Map of Phase 1 and phase 2 of feelings work

    Every new skill has a Phase 1 & Phase 2. Feelings work is no exception! Phase 1 of Feelings work is to learn how to feel, Phase 2 is to learn how to use our feelings consciously. You cannot do Phase 2 before doing Phase 1. Start with Phase 1.

    Map of Phase 1 and Phase 2 of feelings work.

    Feelings work is about growing up and becoming responsible. We work with our feelings not as an end but as an mean to an end. We work with feeling so the dreams, vision and projects inside of us can break through and blossom. The feeling are inexhaustible energy and destroy all blocks so that we can be our destiny in action.

  • Phase 1 of Feelings work

    Phase 1 of feelings work is to learn how to feel.


    Choose the New Map of Feeling

    By choosing the New Map of Feeling you are changing what you think with, and that changes who you are and what is possible.

    The integration happens in your 5 bodies.

    See 5bodies.strikingly.com for more information.


    Use clear sentence for adult communication

    Learn this clear, adult sentence of feelings communication by heart and use it abundantly:

    "I feel (angry, sad, fear, joy) because..."


    Lower Your Numbness Bar

    It is one thing to talk about feeling, something completely different to feel your feelings. Feeling do not appear in your mind (talking), they come from your heart (feeling).

    Whenever a feelings come. Let it be there, let it grow even as big as it is.


    Separate mix feelings

    As a survival strategy we often mix our feelings, to have less clarity and be less dangerous. Separating mix feeling is taking back the clarity and power of each pure feeling.

    See 4emotions.strikingly.com for more information


    Inner navigate your feelings

    Inner navigation is a skill to practice. Inner navigation gives you a inner guide for who you are and what you want. Inner navigating feeling is been able to say which feeling you are feeling and what percentage.


    Stellate your feelings

    Human beings are design to experience 100% big anger, sadness, fear and joy. Consciously and purposefully stellating our 4 feelings, turn on our archetypes (see 4lineages.strikingly.com). This is a initiatory process, you do this in training spaces.

  • Experiments and Practices For Phase 1 of Feelings work

    Check-ins and sharing with

    I feel (mad, glad, sad, scared) because...

    During your weekly possibility team, at work with your colleagues, or with your friends or family, introduce and use the sentence "I feel (mad, glad, scared, sad) because...". Doing so, lowers the numbness bar and therefore raises the level of vulnerability and connectedness in the community.

    - You can do so with proposing an experiment for people to check-in or share 'how they are' using the 4 feelings. You would be surprise how people are willing to play!

    - Introduce % of feeling. Eg: "I feel 6% scared that my glass of water is going to fall on my computer".

    Use you Voice Blaster

    Voices are emotions from external authority figures

    Please visit 4emotions.startover.xyz for more information about the different types of emotions.

    Please visit voiceblaster.startover.xyz for experiments to try.


    3 minutes, 3 times a week, for 3 months

    The first feeling we turn on is often the anger, so we can use it to create our safe personal space to feel the other feeling. Especially for woman, we have huge blocks to feel consciously angry.

    This experiment is to be consciously angry for 3 minutes, 3 times a week, for 3 months. This is how long it takes to change your nervous system.

    If you need more information, please contact a Possibility Management Trainer.

    4 objects = 4 feelings

    Morning practice

    Doctor's orders: Each morning during breakfast or else for 2 months. Place 4 objects in front of you (cup of coffee, car keys, knife, sugar, post-it, your possibility stone, your watch, a ring, ...). Each is one of the 4 feelings.

    Look at the first object and say either out loud or to yourself: "Hello anger. What do you have for me today?" and listen. Your anger will provide you with information that you need for the day.

    Look at the second object and say either out loud or to yourself: "Hello sadness. What do you have for me today?" and listen. Your anger will provide you with information that you need for the day.

    Look at the third object and say either out loud or to yourself: "Hello fear. What do you have for me today?" and listen. Your anger will provide you with information that you need for the day.

    Look at the fourth object and say either out loud or to yourself: "Hello joy. What do you have for me today?" and listen. Your anger will provide you with information that you need for the day.

    Repeat every morning and as often as possible.

    Take Radical Responsibility for your 4 feelings

    Experiment 4FEELING.000

    Here is an eye-opening experiment about feelings from the domain of Radical Responsibility.

    Read and think along with this conversation between a trainer and a participant.
    Trainer: “What do you think about this pencil?”
    Participant: “I think the pencil is yellow, has bite marks, and needs to be sharpened.”
    Trainer: “Thank you. What do you feel about this pencil?”
    Participant: “I feel like I would rather use my pen instead of that pencil.”
    Trainer: “That is a thought, not a feeling. I am asking what you feel about the pencil, not what you would prefer to do or not do with the pencil. There are four feelings: anger, sadness, joy and fear. In your statement there is a hidden feeling. Find your feeling and try again. What do you feel about this pencil?”
    Participant: “I feel angry about this pencil because they made me use a pencil like that in English class and I hated my English teacher for not explaining things so I could understand them.”
    Trainer: “Thank you. Could you feel scared about this pencil?”
    Participant: “Yes. I could feel scared about this pencil because I have a black scar in my finger where I once fell on a pencil like that and it jabbed me. That pencil could hurt me.”
    Trainer: “Thank you. Could you feel glad about this pencil?”
    Participant: “Yes. I could feel glad about this pencil because I love the way pencil wood smells. It is cedar like they used to make the wooden arrows that I practiced with during summer camp where I had so much fun.”
    Trainer: “Thank you. Could you feel sad about this pencil?”
    Participant: “Yes. I could feel sad about this pencil because I wrote my first love letter with a pencil like this to a girl who already had a boyfriend and she decided to stay with him and not come to me. After that I did not try to have another girlfriend for ten years.”
    Trainer: “Thank you. So let me review what we just did. I asked you what you thought about this pencil and you told me what you thought. Then I asked you what you felt about this pencil and you said that you felt angry. Then I asked you if you could feel scared about the pencil and you said yes. Could you really feel it? Was it a real feeling?”
    Participant: “Yes. I could really feel the fear.”
    Trainer: “Then I asked you if you could feel glad about the pencil and you said yes, and sad and you said yes.”
    Participant: “Yes, and I could really feel those feelings too.”
    Trainer: “So let me get this straight. I showed you an object. I selected a pencil to use for this experiment, but it could have been any object. You said that you could feel mad, sad, glad or scared about this object. Could you feel all four feelings about any object?”
    Participant: “I guess so. I never thought about it before. Yes, I probably could.”
    Trainer: “Where do your feelings come from?”
    Participant: “I create the experience of my feelings myself according to the story I tell myself about the object. Each different story creates a different feeling. To change my feeling all I need to do is change my story about the object. This is astonishing!”
    Trainer: “As we began this experiment with the pencil you said that you felt angry about the pencil. Now we see that you could have felt angry, sad, glad or scared about the pencil. But you arranged to feel angry first. If we had stopped the experiment at that point you would have concluded that you actually felt angry about the pencil. But we kept going and you felt all four feelings. Of the four feelings, why did you choose to feel angry first?”
    Participant: “The anger is my first defense. People say I get angry easiest. If I am angry about something then I do not have to take responsibility for it. It is someone else’s fault. I get to persecute everybody else. It is very safe and normal for me to feel angry first.”
    Radical Responsibility with regards to feelings starts when you declare, “I create my feelings. I do not feel a feeling because of any external experience or circumstance. I feel a feeling because I unconsciously create a story that allows me to feel this feeling to best serve my Box’s survival strategies.”

  • Phase 2 of Feelings work

    Phase 2 of feelings work is to learn how to consciously use your feelings.


    Use your feelings to serve your Destiny

    Learn how to use your feelings to create High Drama (see mapofpossibility.strikingly.com), serve your Bright Principles and Archetypal Lineage.

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